Sit Down Interview With Al Davis (Satire)

The following is a fictional interview.

Josh Broudy : So, Al, what does it feel like to have a good draft finally?

Al Davis : Same as it feels every year.

JB : You really think you've drafted well the past 5 years?

AD : You wait, JaMarcus is gonna be a great player one day. So is Heyward-Bey.

JB : If JaMarcus is gonna be a great player, why did you trade for Jason Campbell?

AD : I didn't say this season. I didn't even say he'd be a great player for us at all. Don't put words in my mouth, and then make me brush my teeth with them.

JB : Sorry, Al. How would you rank LaMarr Houston?

AD : Wait, what? Isn't he from the University of Texas?

JB : No, I meant the defensive tackle you drafted.

AD : Ohhhh. He's an excellent player. He'll give some much needed versatility on the line. At least he doesn't have two first names like Tommy Kelly

JB : How about Edwin Veldheer from Hillsdale?

AD : What the hell is Hillsdale? Is that a golf course. I don't golf anymore, it'd take too long. 

JB : Were you surprised that Bruce Campbell fell to you in the 4th round?

AD : A player of his calliber, yes. I ranked him...

J B : Do you need a tissue, Al? You're drooling.

AD : Oh yes, thank you. And Campbell is a great player. He's gonna be a star in this league. As long as I'm alive, I will remain committed to him.

JB : (After a few seconds) Anyway, who was your best overall pick of the day?

AD : JaMarcus Russell.

JB : Umm, Al we're in 2010.

AD : Okay, then, how about Bruce Campbell and Jacoby Ford. I think they were the only picks I was awake for the whole draft. I do have a bedtime you know.

JB : Are you in favor of Mr. Irrelevant?

AD : There's a reason why they're irrelevant. They suck enough that 254 players are called befor...

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