Why Are Kobe Bryant Fans So Defensive?

Expedition Diary: Entry Number 37 (May 27, 2010)

Our travels brought us to the shores of the great ocean of the West. There, we encountered the tribe that was dubbed by my predecessors Lakerius Fanitur. Our observations revealed that a sub-set of this tribe, consisting primarily of younger members, can be distinguished as a unique unit. This group, which we named Rabidori Kobium Fanturim, is the subject of this entry.

The most notable distinguishing characteristic of the Kobium sect is its worship of the minor deity, Kobebry. In their folklore, Kobebry is often known as the "great dark snake."

We recently made contact with the Kobium. In an effort to better understand their mindset, we raised the flag of the Great Shaqillus, and explained to the Kobium that Shaquillus is, in fact, the higher order deity from whom Kobebry sprang forth. We further told stories of the highest of deities, the Supreme Jordanbullo.

Our explanation was met with aggressive hostility. Though the historical folklore is clear, the Kobium proved unable to grasp the concept that Kobebry is not, in fact, the supreme deity. 

They could not be swayed by logic. Instead, they attacked with reckless abandon. Thankfully, their attacks were weak and easily evaded.

Conclusion: The Kobium is a primitive tribe that has not adopted modern forms of logic or reason. They should be avoided at all costs. 


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