Los Angeles Lakers Exposed In World Domination Plot

ATIRE — Reports in Los Angeles, California have surfaced implicating the Lakers in a plot to dominate the world's basketball courts.

The mastermind of this plan is said to be one Kobe Bryant, leader of these rebel forces.

General Jackson has installed a time table of events as this plot has been made aware to the general public.

First on the agenda is a gradual weakening of all opposing forces, some in light skirmishes on the Lakers home ground and some traveling to other bases for footholds and base camps away from home.

During this phase the Lakers plan on setting new ground in the world of basketball by winning more than 33 battles in a row.

The last time an uprising of this magnitude was felt in the world of basketball was during the late sixties/early seventies as General Chamberlain and his merry band—West, Goodrich, Hairston, and McMillian, with help from rogue warriors Erickson and Riley, terrorized the basketball world with 33 battles in a row won.

Phase II of this operation is said to consist of a secondary plan in which over 70 battles running through next spring would be won by these rebel Lakers, thereby setting final plans for a takeover.

Last year, missiles were fired to the Boston base in the East, where there remains the last stronghold of resistance with powerful forces awaiting the return of the rebel forces. Due to defects and problems in the internal section of the missile engines, namely the center of central components, the base in Boston withstood small barrages of attacks.

This year, however, the internal workings of the Lakers missile components have been corrected using the now known Bynum factor.

Phase III of this operation will conclude with the Laker Flag being hoisted high above the basketball world, in honor of the new champions of the world of basketball.

Then once more will the sun peek out from be...

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