Los Angeles Lakers: 5 Reasons To Trade for Atlanta Hawks’ Josh Smith (Satire)

Note: the following article is a humor piece. 

To the innumerable, non-thinking, I-can't-put-together-a-complete-sentence type fans: don't bother reading any further. Your input is NOT appreciated. 


1. Josh Smith doesn't waste his time dabbling in reality television shows and dillydallying with an average-looking Kardashian sister

Although Odom, arguably, is having his best season as a Laker, his desperate desire to become a media celebrity (not to mention his attempted flirting with Laker girls during games), is a distraction and takes away from the spirit of unity a championship-seeking team tries to cultivate.

Josh Smith, whose I-hate-the-Celtics-more-than-Hitler intensity would be a welcome benefit to L.A. He doesn't seem interested in the bright lights of Hollywood.


2. Josh Smith is a shot blocking beast, swatting away more than two per contest, compared to Odom's 0.91 blocks average.

With other West powerhouses like Utah and San Antonio making it their mission to derail the Lakers shot at three consecutive titles, L.A. is in need of a fear-inducing, crowd-energizing defensive player like Josh Smith. Amongst the top ten shot stuffers in the league, Josh Smith is the ONLY one who stands under 6-foot-10. Not only would he defend the paint, he'd also alter the opposition's potential field goals.

Once Andrew Bynum returns, imagine the protective fortress around the basket a line up of Josh Smith, the Spaniard, and Drew would create.  

As far as Odom's defense is concerned, well, let's attribute it to his pre-game diet—which leads us straight to our next point. 


3. Lamar Odom eats a lot of gummy bears, Reese's Pieces, licorice and Snicker bars. Josh Smith, as far as I know, doesn't

Gorging on Three Musketeers and sugar-coated gummy worms before a game will not put you in t...

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